Also, I thnk its way too long! Its great to put all your feelings in writing for YOU but not for him. He will shut down, turn you out as quickly as he can.
IMO, it needs to be short and to the point. He needs to know exactly what you will and not allow any longer. More like what cynical had suggested.
P.S. The short and direct replies to my posts - get my attention far more than the lengthy, wordy, let me share every feeling reply. I appreciate both but I can retain the shorter and blunt ones better.