I really didn't know if I was going to write anymore, since I didn't even know where my thoughts were.
Well, this past weekend I went to an occasion and drank. I am not a drinker. Not at all. But I was having fun, and it started to numb the pain. Yeah, a few too many is what I had. My AH was the one to pick me and my friend up at the place after it was over and boy, I don't remember a thing after that. Apparently, I said some awful things to him, things that I don't remember and don't want to remember. I also sent a message to his alcoholic friend which I read the next afternoon. It wasn't mean, if you ask me, but I did tell him that I don't want him at my son's communion. Message received. The AH is pissed and we fought the next day. But somehow ended things on a more peaceful note. Now, he tells me that he can't trust anything that comes out of my mouth because of things that I said the night before. EXCUSE ME ??? Come on now. He tells me that a drunk person tells the truth when they speak. Ok, so how does this make sense? Then basically, what he has said in the past was the truth and now that he's trying to be sober he's lying? Well, every time he told me he loved me, only wanted me, couldn't imagine life without me and so on, he did say when he was drunk but also said it when he was sober....up until a little over a month ago. Am I rambling? Sorry if I am.
What the hell?
Then he tries to get nasty and tell me things to have me let go quick. I'm not trying to hold on, I am trying to understand. No matter how strong I am, I am still sad over all of this. But, on the other hand, I will be better very soon.
I hope I didn't confuse anyone. I just can't leave details of what I said since I don't know exactly what was said.