So Ive been browsing the drug sites again and would have made a purchase today were it not that the drug of choice was out of stock.
I have also been talking to the vendor arranging when they will get it back...
All the while Ive been conscious of both my beast wanting satisfaction and my self realizing what Im doing and rationalizing that it will be ok this time as my plan has been to take it in smaller doses.
At the same time tho I have some apprehension about doing it.
This is around the exact time I would usually relapse which is why it has kept coming around every few days recently although since reading RR I'm alot more aware of what Im doing.
The latest excuse for the beast is that Im going to be moving house soon so I should take it one last time in my old apartment before moving to my new place.
Thing is though I havent been disagreeing with the beast but I also have because of the risk and especially since I will be moving home soon so all the more reason not to do it.
Advice?