Update: I just talked to my T. I had to reschedule an appt and he called and I melted down on the phone and it was fortuitous that he called I guess bc he pointed out some good things for me...
In the past I would have let this info stop me in my tracks and reconsider letting AH back into my life. Instead, I am resolved (though it hurts a TON and I hate the options in front of me) to go forward. I can't afford a long battle and I am frightened by AH's pathological liar ability and fear that a custody fight might be worse for me in the long run than agreeing to 50/50.
I want to be free of him asap (at least legally in a marital way). He will still have to pay child support whether there's shared custody or not so that's a non issue. I doubt seriously that he will want to spend 50% time with the girls. He never has before. I think that he wants to look like he cares and public image is everything.
My T said that in his 30 yrs experience once an abuser gets the 50% custody they claim to want, they exercise that right for a few months at best and then it's done. At that point I will document his lack of time with the girls and petition after a period of time to show that I am the primary parent and have the custody agreement changed.
As sucky as it is to have to deal with the 50/50 split without any questions asked or any concern for his abuse/alcoholism (since I can't really prove most of it it's going to be he said/she said), I'm going to accept it as something I can not control right now and go on. I'm getting divorced and free of AH come hell or high water and the sooner the better.
It is comforting in a way to realize that even when potential roadblocks are thrown in my way, I'm sure enough in my decision to be DONE with AH, that nothing is going to stop me.