I think I'm gettin close too. My beast cringes and goes nuts when I even think about, " I will NEVER drink again, forever, for the rest of my life". If I say that, it will be because I mean it.
The wine on St. Paddy's day was because it was offerred to me and I just said...what the f..... Had one glass. Didn't taste good. Didn't want more.
The martinis were on my birthday. My favorite restaurant. My alcoholic husband ordered wine. I sat there, staring, my AV said to me..."come on, it's your birthday....". I said "why hello Beast, I think I will have one". Tasted pretty good, so had another.
Spent 200$ on food, vomited it up on the way home because the booze made me sick. Did not enjoy that at all.
Thank you so much for engaging me and responding to my posts. Really helps me continue to think.
Pam