[QUOTE When is it ok for me to put me first?[/QUOTE]
NOW, but only you can do that. If you wait for your husband to give that to you you might be waiting a very long time. If he's an alcoholic he's doing what alcoholic's do. My X lied all the time even before he became an alcoholic so I understand the pain that lieing can do. I know this isn't the life you want for yourself and your family, please seek help for yourself, Al Anon, therapy, time away for some healing time for you.