I need secular support, please.
Long story short.
Went into a 3 week inpatient detox and rehab from 12/27 to 1/19. Quit smoking at the same time. Followed up doing the AA thing, 3-4 meetings per week. Ended up dropping AA, still friends with my ex-sponsor. I feel very good about my sobriety - haven't been this happy and CALM in a long time.
Have had 2 lapses. A glass of wine on 3/17, 2 martinis on 4/9. The wine was icky, the martinis made me throw up. In both instances, the drinking reaffirmed my decision to not drink.
I have still not committed to an AVRT Big Plan.
Fast forward to today.
Had a follow-up appointment with my addiction doc. When he jeard I was not "doing" AA, he said, "oh, my I am so worried about you, you have already started drinking again".
I am SO proud that I have quit drinking and had only 2 lapses that did not balloon out of control into some horrible binge. His attitude was that it is just a matter of time until I become a full-blown sun up to sun down drinker because I am not going to AA and not working the steps.
An on-line support group, "doesn't really count".
Bottom line, if I don't start "working my program" and "soon, too", I will be "on your knees" praying to God because AA is the only program that "research shows works".
I am a physician. I have researched all of the possible recovery methods. I feel very strongly that this guy is incorrect regarding his "only AA" works methodology. Any data regarding the success rates of any form of recovery program is weak. I have chosen what I feel will work best for me. (Which he felt was another nail in my alcoholic coffin). This doc kept shaking his head like.....she'll be back in the rooms soon. Totally dismissive of me. I was crying in frustration.
So...(and if you've read this far, thanks), I need some non-AA supoort from y'all. I sure hope you can provide some.
My stint in rehab and early indoctrination into AA was helpful for me. I needed that early on. But, I swear, If I have to listen to some of the religious stuff that goes on in another AA meeting, I WILL pick up a drink:-)!
Thank you,
PJ