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Old 04-23-2012, 07:05 PM
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FreeingMyself
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 347
It's been a bumpy ride...UPDATE

I haven't been on here for a while. I suppose because the direct affects of alcoholism and its insanity don't really interfere w/ my life on a day to day basis anymore. Life, in general, is good. I was forced to get a protective order in January, due to STBXAH threatening my life. THis proved to be a very powerful more for me emotionally and truly let me break free. Following this I filed for divorce. STBXAH has 3 criminal charges for break the protective order. This is a very intersting situation, however, because while I feel I did what I had to, he may end up losing both jobs...which means me losing support....which IS a big deal, since I have lots of mouths to feed. SOmehow it seems like when it comes to him there is never any winning - I also am on the losing side. All that aside, I am finally feeling more like the ME that I know, and I like that. I am also aware however that I will carry many issues from my time married to him and in a relationship with him, for some time. Sometimes, these issues hit me out of nowhere, and sometimes, they slowly build up in me. I am working SO hard at trying to live my life...and wow do I have to battle codependancy every step of the way. Again...all this said, thinking back to where I have been, and what was happened, and the pain and sorrow I felt then, I am SO very thankful for SR and the people here who helped me to break free and do what was necessary! I know I still have a LONG LONG road, but everyday I feel SO much better...life is good.
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