Brokenwife, you say that he is opening up more, but about what? Yelling and trying to be cruel-is this your interpretation of him opening up or emoting?
I think it is normal to to be in shock when your husband announces that he wants the marriage to end. To be in denial even for a time, but it staying in denial and fighting it is not a good plan for the future IMHO. Ultimately, if he wants out of the marriage he can end it with or without your permission. What kind of a life is this for you having a "husband" who has one foot out the door while you take the position to fight for "us". What kind of a candy azz sticks around making it tough so his wife will get fed up and file for divorce to alleviate his guilt.