Originally Posted by
brokenwife2012 
He still isn't seeking help for being an alcoholic and I doubt that he will. I am trying to understand but since I've never had an addiction, I can only understand what I read.
So, now I come to find out that the friend he went to for advise (about divorcing me) was his ALCOHOLIC, DRUNK non-committed in a relationship "best" friend. How is that even advise and why would that be the advise he would listen to ??????? Am I crazy to not understand that ? He makes no sense to me what so ever. Other advise came from a person that he should never have become friends with. And yes, I do feel as though they helped him come to this decision because in a sense, it's what they wanted him to do. NEVER did he come to me about any of this. Why am I fighting for him ?
It makes no sense to you or I that he'd go to such a source for "advice" but think about it; he is an addict, he wants to be enabled, he wants to be told that what he wants to do is fine and justified and who better to get that info from than another addict whose brain functions in the same way as your AH's. Rationally, logically, morally it makes no sense. I have asked myself the same thing a million or more times. Why would my stbxAH go to his alcoholic, crazy (clinically) brother or his enmeshed sister or his alcoholic, abusive dad and enabler mother for advice about our marriage.... I made myself nuts for years before I finally accepted that he did this bc he was never invested in this r/s in the way a sane person would be bc no one sane would behave like that. He went to all those ill people just like your AH bc they told him what he wanted to hear.
You are the healthy one. You don't say what he wants to hear, you don't coddle and enable the addiction so of course you are the one he will push away. It doesn't hurt any less when he treats you as he does, but remind yourself over and over that you are healthy and that is a threat to his addiction.
There's nothing you could do differently to change how he is behaving. He is doing what he has to to protect the addiction. That comes first to him. Hang in there.