(((wtbh))) - I, too, saw MY part in the chaos with XABF#1, a little late. Give yourself a break, sweetie. We don't know better until we do, and it often involves getting burned. It's a hard lesson to learn, but we do learn and we keep on movin' on. I'm still in a world of a mess because of my codie-ness which led to addiction, and I'm frustrated, but I'm pretty sure there's a lesson in all of this. I don't like it, but I have faith. I also have faith that things will be okay with you and your darling d's.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy