Welcome to SR Leah..If you can get into a 30 day rehab that would be great. I'd recommend attending some NA meetings in the meantime...It's free and I have friends that recovered with the 12 steps in NA. It's a spritual program but you sound like you would be open to that. I think it was prayers from others as well as my own that saved my life and got me into AA. You have my prayers that you can do this.