Originally Posted by
Peta 
... all these lovely women in the fellowship are worried about me and keep contacting me and want to 'catch up'... Will it become a 'my way is better than your way' debate?? Suggestions?
First, you have to understand that on some level, they really do believe that you will get drunk again without the meetings. If you are done with AA, but yet care to spend time with these ladies outside of meetings, though, there is an easy way to sort out who wants to spend time with you versus those who wants to convince you to go back to meetings.
You simply tell them that you will meet with them to do normal things, but that under no circumstances will you return to meetings, and that you do not want to discuss your "sobriety" with them. This avoids all discussion of the "my way vs. your way" thing. Most who don't care about you outside of "the program" will just forget about you.
You should be aware, however, that some have a penchant for laying a guilt-trip, which I have some experience with. I've had more than one say that I owe a debt to the fellowship, and suggest that I am a "thief" for not giving back what was so freely given to me. I simply remind them that true altruism does not require repayment, and that 12th Step work is done to keep
oneself sober.
Very few ever argue with this, because it is true, but some deluded souls still persist. To those, I say that if I were to go back to meetings, I would do so with printed business cards containing the web site address and phone number for Rational Recovery. I then ask them if they really want me passing out those business cards to every single newcomer that walks into the meeting. I've yet to encounter anyone who has told me to go back after that.