FWIW I too had conversation with my "R"AH where he agreed I deserved better and it seeming like he was running away. That was 6 months ago and I let it go (we are separated for 2 years and he moved back this last month)
I have come to accept that alcoholism is a disease and I didn't cause it, cannot cure, control or change it. I have also come to accept that in the past there were times when I was trying to engage with a person whose brain was soaked with alcohol - sometimes literally and sometime figuratively as I think it takes a long, long time for the effects of alcohol to go away.
Our lives will never be what I hoped they would be and I am accepting that and moving on. Today I choose to follow my own program of recovery and try to make it work with my "R"AH as long as he is not actively drinking, manages his disease and works a program.
I am still trying to figure out the person he really is and the person who is affected by alcohol. I may never know. I have faith that I will know if and when there comes a time when I need to move on from this relationship.
In the meantime I focus on what is best for me and for my family and I try to work with my "R"AH as best I can.
My HP (God) loves us all. That is enough for me right now.