mrao

Hi all,

I'm 39 and married, with 2 little daughters. I am located in ******, India. I have been a reasonably heavy drinker for the past 7-8 years or so. Thing is, I just couldn't fight the urge to get in a few drinks after work, before I got back home.

While there was always someone from work to join me, I realized that the company really didn't matter anymore, since I was equally comfortable drinking alone. The worst part is that this was becoming an everyday thing, and I was getting into more and more arguments with my wife over my drinking habit. In fact, I used to feel that she was nagging me all the time, and used to wonder why she had to make a big deal of everything. I have never been abusive to her or the kids so far, and I'm glad I didn't reach that stage, though I now realize that she was and is completely justified on her part, in feeling the way she does.

Two days ago, I went on one of my solo drinking binges, and realized only when I got back home late that night, that I had missed my younger daughter's 6th birthday!!! And that realization gave me a big jolt, which I truly hope would be the beginning of a new life. After all, it's never too late to change...for the better!!

I now realize that this habit had led me to neglect my family, and the ones that I love the most. I decided that I cannot allow the booze to control my life, and wreck it any further than it already has. I successfully managed to come back home straight on Day 1 of my new life, and was relieved. Day 2 (today) was more difficult than I thought. As soon as I left the office, I started getting these thoughts in my head...started thinking, why don't I just visit the neighborhood bar, and maybe just sit around watching the cricket game for some time. After all, I had decided to give up drinking, hadn't I? And there was this other lil voice in my head which kept telling me that if I step inside the place, I wouldn't be able to resist, and one drink would lead to another. It also kept telling me that I was going back towards the same thing which made me miss my little girls birthday...and that again, brought me back in control.

I eventually ended up visiting a local coffee shop, and ordered a sandwich and a latte....spent 30 mins watching the game, and headed straight home, successfully getting through Day 2. My wife is still upset with me over the fact that I was absent for the special occasion...and she is right to think that way. All I want to do now, is to give up this cursed habit, and gain their trust and love back. I know it's not going to be easy, and that there would be several situations where the urge is going to be really, really hard to fight, but I intend to sincerely do my best, and hope that I'm able to be a better husband and father. Any tips or advice would be much appreciated.