Bay - YOU ARE NOT A LOST CAUSE!!!! GIRL HAVE YOU READ ALL OF MY POST HERE!?!??! I totally thought nothing would save me. But each time I tried I kept getting more and more sober time. And you dont even know what I went through before I got here! I had even just surrendered to the thought that "this poison is gonna kill me" Then I got my butt up and said NO I OWN THIS IT DOESNT OWN ME..and I fought with all I have ..been doing that for 6 months with countless relapses..but you learn from them... each time I relapsed it got worse and worse. Then I just threw up the white flag. IF YOU WANT IT BAD BAY YOU CAN DO IT!! Look around you at SR these ppl did it. Like Dee said hundreds!! You have this you have done it before. Make the decision I will not drink, period. And just follow that. If you choose to use AVRT throw your whole being into that AND NOTHING ELSE!!!!! Hang in there Bay. I got faith in you and it's time you get some in yourself. You can do this hun!