View Single Post
Old 04-16-2012, 05:43 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Terminally Unique
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location:   « USA »                       Recovered with AVRT  (Rational Recovery)  ___________
Posts: 3,680
Originally Posted by bayliss View Post
I don't get it.
Why do I keep going back to it?
Your body has adapted to the alcohol, and views it as necessary for life, like Oxygen. When it doesn't get alcohol, it feels like it is dying, and goes into a panic, same as it would if it were drowning. Your body is confused, though, and it doesn't realize that it won't actually die without alcohol.

Originally Posted by bayliss View Post
But why do I think about it all the time. The thoughts are all consuming...
When your body goes into this panic mode, it isn't able to get the alcohol on its own, and has to get you to do it. So, it will show you pictures in your mind's eye about drinking, or the liquor store, and comes up with reasons to drink. This is the Addictive Voice of AVRT. If you were broke and starving, your body might show you a picture of a juicy burger or the supermarket instead, and come up with reasons why you need to steal money.

Originally Posted by bayliss View Post
I feel like I "can't" quit. That life will suck. That it will be miserable. I mean, when I was sober it really wasn't bad...and I felt fine...so what?
In AVRT, this is the recoil phenomenon, and all addicted people experience it when they contemplate quitting. Remember, your body thinks it will die without alcohol, so when you think about quitting, it really gets scared. It knows perfectly well that you can quit -- it would not get scared, otherwise.

So, it attacks, by using the AV to show you pictures of a boring, hollow, meaningless existence in order to keep you from doing what you are capable of doing. This is also an illusion, bayliss. Billions of people live without drinking, including many who were in your shoes and quit. You once did as well. Do you still remember those days?

Originally Posted by bayliss View Post
I know that it is my addictive voice.
I should have read more into avrt... What's worse is that that stupid voice is saying that "hey, if you lose your boyfriend, keep on drinkin!".
Stupidest thing ever.
Your addiction is undeterred by pain or loss, and it doesn't care about you or your boyfriend. It will, however, turn loss into a reason to drink. It's good that you are realizing how stupid it is.

Originally Posted by bayliss View Post
I know I have to do something different. I realize this. And I will.
When, Bayliss? Passivity and procrastination is a lifeline for your addiction. Your addictive voice will say anything to get you to postpone quitting, sending you on every conceivable wild goose chase, as long as it doesn't involve quitting. AVRT, of course, involves quitting, so it doesn't want you reading that stuff. I sent you the AVRT links months ago, for example, and I bet that little voice said "this sounds interesting, maybe you should read it... later."

That's the nature of this thing.

Originally Posted by bayliss View Post
I really want to beat this thing.
If you are going to use AVRT, this is what I recommend. Make a temporary plan -- "I will not drink for two weeks, during which time I will read the Rational Recovery book and the entire AVRT thread on Sober Recovery."

It should take you about three days to detox. Once you have a full day neither drunk nor hungover, start reading the book in a room, all by yourself, without distractions like the Internet, the boyfriend, or the television. You need to be aware of your thoughts as you read. Your AV will be coloring your thoughts the entire time, possibly chiming in and telling you to stop reading, but keep going anyway.

Then, read through the AVRT thread from the beginning, as it will clarify some things that you might miss initially. By that time, you should be getting a good picture of how this thing operates. If you don't waste time, you'll still have days to spare in the two weeks. If you have any questions, feel free to post them on the thread. When the two weeks are up, you'll have a choice to make about whether you want to keep living like this or not.
Terminally Unique is offline