In this first post, I said,
In my own life, I can see in retrospect how I've glamorized my RAH and his addictive dysfunctions, and even how I've been attracted to instability (drugs, booze, drama) over stable, normal, nice people since I was a teenager.
I just opened up the local newspaper website to see that my first ever boyfriend (I was 13) is in a pre-hearing for a murder trial today. I know I probably sound like an idiot, but for the first time I finally get why recovery for the codependent is so goddamned important. Sure, I have suffered consequences from my partner's addiction that have caused stress and trauma, but damn if I haven't showed a pattern of behavior and attraction to broken people since I was a kid that puts me right where I'm sitting today.
Ho-lee ****.