faithfully, I'm glad you've chosen to read the literature. I wondered about you the other day after reading a post. I didn't remember your name, but that post had me remembering your story. There's a new sticky at the top of this forum, about how our brain changes when we stay engaged in the insanity.
In hindsight, watching and engaging with my daughter when she was active, was like watching the same horror movie over and over again. I couldn't change the outcome so I had to be hooked on the horror, the adrenaline rush.