Steps to eliminate my fits of rage
Step 1: I first must identify my level of risk for getting into rage. To do this I will rate the following statements on a scale of 1 to 5 circling the number according to their impact on my life.
1 = never true
2 = sometimes true
3 = often true
4 = almost always true
5 = always true
1 2 3 4 5 ( 1) I react without thinking when I get angry.
1 2 3 4 5 ( 2) I get out of control when I get frustrated and angry.
1 2 3 4 5 ( 3) I strike or hit objects, walls, or people when I'm mad.
1 2 3 4 5 ( 4) I was abused physically, verbally, emotionally, or sexually by my parents or other significant others.
1 2 3 4 5 ( 5) I am known to be a violent acting person.
1 2 3 4 5 ( 6) Acting out in a fit of rage is the only way I ever saw anger expressed.
1 2 3 4 5 ( 7) My anger controls me rather than the opposite.
1 2 3 4 5 ( 8) I get an actual physical bodily response when I'm very anger.
1 2 3 4 5 ( 9) I want to kill someone, something, or myself when I'm out of control.
1 2 3 4 5 (10) I don't believe people listen to me unless I get angry, shout, and pound my fist.
1 2 3 4 5 (11) I want to run away or quit when I get angry.
1 2 3 4 5 (12) I have a hard time getting calmed down after I've been angry.
1 2 3 4 5 (13) I feel guilt and remorse after I have raged.
1 2 3 4 5 (14) I let people see the ``dark'' side of my personality when I get angry.
1 2 3 4 5 (15) I have several ``hot buttons'' which, when pushed, get me very upset rather quickly.
1 2 3 4 5 (16) I lose my ability to speak clearly and accurately when I get angry.
1 2 3 4 5 (17) I feel like I go crazy during a rage.
1 2 3 4 5 (18) I find that I continually fume silently about things that anger me. I never seem to find a release.
1 2 3 4 5 (19) I have a tendency to view life as unfair, especially to me.
1 2 3 4 5 (20) I frighten people with my show of anger.
1 2 3 4 5 (21) I try to keep a lid on my anger but when it rises to the surface I can no longer control it.
1 2 3 4 5 (22) I don't make the effort to do systematic anger work-out over what bothers me.
1 2 3 4 5 (23) I have no idea how deep my anger goes.
1 2 3 4 5 (24) I have a chip on my shoulder.
1 2 3 4 5 (25) I hold grudges against people.
1 2 3 4 5 (26) I only know one way to show my anger: to explode.
1 2 3 4 5 (27) I feel that my rights are continuously being ignored.
1 2 3 4 5 (28) I am overwhelmed by the unfairness of life.
1 2 3 4 5 (29) I don't believe that people listen to me.
1 2 3 4 5 (30) I feel like a loser in life.
1 2 3 4 5 (31) I feel like my anger is always at the surface ready to explode.
1 2 3 4 5 (32) I was extremely hurt in my past life, and I am often reminded of the pain.
1 2 3 4 5 (33) I have unresolved anger.
1 2 3 4 5 (34) I get upset when I see others being treated unfairly.
1 2 3 4 5 (35) I am embarrassed by the ways I show my anger.
____ My score
Add the ratings on each of thirty-five items above. Compare my score to the level of risk.
Score Interpretation
35-70 Mild risk of fits of rage
71-105 Moderate risk of fits of rage
106-140 Marked risk of fits of rage
141+ Severe risk of fits of rage
If I am at a mild risk I need to continue my attempts to prevent fits of rage.
If I am at a moderate risk I need to develop strategies to inhibit my rage when it erupts.
If I am at a marked risk I need to develop ways to overcome the negative impact of my rage and learn to redirect my anger.
If I am at a severe risk I am so out of control that I need to not only develop means to lessen the damage resulting from my rage, but I need to get help from the "support'' people in my life to develop ways to divert my uncontrolled anger.
Step 2: After determining my risk factor for rage, I need to clarify my feelings about my ``rage'' behavior. I will answer the following questions in my journal:
A. What is my level of risk for rage? What does this say about how I deal with my anger?
B. What factors increase my level of risk?
C. How do the people in my life react during my fits of rage?
D. What are the negative consequences of these fits?
E. How do I explain my rage? Why do I have these fits?
F. What do I experience when I am in one of these fits?
G. What do others call my fits of rage? How does this make me feel?
H. Do I experience guilt after one of these fits? What do I do about these feelings? Do I deny or minimize their impact?
I. How does my initial silent withdrawal into anger tie into these fits of rage?
J. How do my blocks to anger fit into this scenario
K. How does my personal behavioral script relate to
L. Are there factors in my upbringing in my family of origin, to account for my fits of rage? List them
M. How was anger dealt with in my family of origin? Who in my family had similar fits of rage?
N. How do I react to others during their fits of rage with me?
Step 3: I now need to address my "hot button'' issues. I will review the following list of potential hot buttons and circle the rating for each according to its intensity for me.
1 = cool
2 = lukewarm to mildly warm
3 = warm to mild heat
4 = moderate to high heat
5 = scalding
Intensity of Heat Hot Button Issues
1 2 3 4 5 ( 1) injustice toward me or others
1 2 3 4 5 ( 2) having my ideas ignored
1 2 3 4 5 ( 3) feeling put down
1 2 3 4 5 ( 4) being laughed at or made fun of
1 2 3 4 5 ( 5) being misunderstood
1 2 3 4 5 ( 6) being left out, not chosen
1 2 3 4 5 ( 7) sensing unfairness to self or others
1 2 3 4 5 ( 8) feeling abused: real or implied; physical, emotional, verbal, or sexual
1 2 3 4 5 ( 9) sensing prejudice against me or my ideas
1 2 3 4 5 (10) people not following my directions
1 2 3 4 5 (11) people not doing as I requested
1 2 3 4 5 (12) not winning in competition
1 2 3 4 5 (13) feeling rejection
1 2 3 4 5 (14) feeling a lack of approval from others
1 2 3 4 5 (15) sensing that people don't respect me
1 2 3 4 5 (16) feeling that my opinion is not valued
1 2 3 4 5 (17) being considered stupid, incompetent, or ignorant
1 2 3 4 5 (18) being cheated
1 2 3 4 5 (19) being lied to
1 2 3 4 5 (20) being accused of something I didn't do
1 2 3 4 5 (21) seeing the fruits of my labor go unappreciated
1 2 3 4 5 (22) feeling like a failure or a loser
1 2 3 4 5 (23) finding out the truth about something I should have known; realizing that information was deliberately kept from me
1 2 3 4 5 (24) being caught off guard about the truth
1 2 3 4 5 (25) when others jump to negative assumptions about me
1 2 3 4 5 (26) when I'm not given a chance
1 2 3 4 5 (27) when my hard work and efforts are not rewarded and I get no back up
1 2 3 4 5 (28) recognizing that people less intelligent, less competent, and less creative than I have become more successful than I
1 2 3 4 5 (29) never being given a chance to "show my stuff'' or to succeed
1 2 3 4 5 (30) being called a name or labeled something offensive
1 2 3 4 5 (31) being reminded of my faults
1 2 3 4 5 (32) seeing my faults in others, especially my offspring or protege
1 2 3 4 5 (33) recognizing that I can't do something I want to do
1 2 3 4 5 (34) realizing that people are deliberately making things tough for me
1 2 3 4 5 (35) feeling intimidated
1 2 3 4 5 (36) feeling fat, dumb, and ugly
1 2 3 4 5 (37) being unable to connect with someone
1 2 3 4 5 (38) recognizing that it is futile to continue to try
1 2 3 4 5 (39) realizing that the barriers I'm fighting against are overwhelming
1 2 3 4 5 (40) watching people turn away from me
For items 41 to 50 fill in "hot button'' items specific to me. Rate the intensity of their heat for me:
1 2 3 4 5 (41)
1 2 3 4 5 (42)
1 2 3 4 5 (43)
1 2 3 4 5 (44)
1 2 3 4 5 (45)
1 2 3 4 5 (46)
1 2 3 4 5 (47)
1 2 3 4 5 (48)
1 2 3 4 5 (49)
1 2 3 4 5 (50)