the Addict in my life has me exasperated and I feel guilty and helpless. I just don't understand why someone who is so physically ill and in pain will not seek proper treatment and figures that there is no help for him - even cancer patients I know will go to doctor's and get home health care but he will not. He says he has sepsis which is very serious and it says so on his disability form and he says he got blood tests done 5 weeks ago but I don't believe it. He can't even make it to the doctor or to the lab and then back to the doctor for the results unless I drive him or someone in his building drives him. He is always in pain or sleeping and when he wakes up he calls me and he always wants money for "painkiller" aka booze and crack. he is on methadone, and a lot of it but he says it doesn't work for pain.
He won't go to the pain clinic with me though I have offered, and his methadone doc has recommended, he won't go to the infectious disease specialist at the hospital because we went once already and they ordered him to have nursing home care for 30 days so they could assess the situation and bandage and treat his wounds properly but he would not allow it TWICE!!!!! Twice he has home care ordered for him but he won't allow the nurses to come in===this has been ordered for him by doctors. I can't take it anymore!!!! I pray and I pray and I pray and make sure he's got food, rent etc and do his laundry but I can't take it anymore. He is eligible for home care, for people to do this for him, but he won't allow it or the "humiliation". He calls me he's in pain in pain in pain I try to get him out to change his mind to cheer him up but he's in to much pain. This is so sad but yet when he has money and crack and booze he's not in pain and going to casino etc. They actually kicked him out of the casino a week ago, and he blew all the rent money!!!!! Without crack and booze he can't get out out of bed or do anything. I just can't take this like I said. I keep hanging up the phone I try to be nice but it always ends up horrible and I honestly want my life back but I feel to selfish. he says doctors can't help his condition, and there is no help and he is going to die from it and home care can't do anything etc etc. The only thing that works is his "painkiller" aka crack and alcohol. I give up. I might have to walk away. I mean it. I want my life back. I wish I could help him but I just want my freaking life back. I can't help him I want to but maybe he is right maybe there is no help for him. I don't want to be mad but I just have to hang up when this conversation goes no where and the only answer for him is drugs and booze, on my dime. I know it's selfish to think of money and finance for someone who is so sick but I just can't take it anymore.
Maybe it's not just crack and alcohol he wants but it always seems to be because none of the other suggestions I have he will take.