Originally Posted by
WhiteKnuckles 
No Change4good I always felt like waiting on him hand and foot was part of my penance for being a drunkard and his lack of reciperocation was part of my punishment.
That sounds like an awful basis for a good relationship. Have you considered counselling as a couple? There is no doubt that your relationship will continue to change if you become sober. It might be possible that working on the marriage together would help. However, abuse of any kind is never acceptable.