Originally Posted by
lucylestrange 
I have tried meetings, and met some very nice people....but what I know about myself is that that terror I feel while I'm sitting in one leads to me not wanting to go, which leads to feeling disappointed in myself for failing which leads to giving up and drinking. It's not for lack of trying, I just know it's not for me.
Like stillsleeping, I don't go to meetings either, but I know from reading here that many find them to be lifesavers. *For them.* The important thing is to find "your thing." Consider looking at the secular forum, or reading about other's journeys. And possibley, you may find AA is for you as you are further along in recovery.
Regardless, wishing you well.