Welcome back, Peta. I was wondering what happened to you.
Originally Posted by
Peta 
TU your input would be much appreciated. Do you know of people who didn't get it to begin with but then got it and it stuck? for ever?
As a matter of fact, I do -- me. The first time around, I lasted about a month or so, but then I went back and learned things properly. Also, 70% of the people who take the AVRT course remain abstinent, which means that 30% do not. That said, I would advise against comparing yourself to others, since your Beast will naturally lock onto the 'failures', and argue that you are one of them. It is often best to think of yourself as the first person in history to ever quit their addiction, which puts things in perspective. The only statistic that matters here is your own.
There is a tendency for people to argue about what 'works' and what doesn't, to look at recovery statistics, or to argue about who 'worked it' hard enough or not. I could, for example, conclude from my experience with AVRT that since I was doing things half-heartedly the first time around, that anyone else who doesn't remain abstinent is also doing the same, but that would be disingenuous. The attitude of AVRT could probably be summed up as follows: nothing works except actually quitting, but anyone can quit.
Originally Posted by
Peta I truly want to be an abstinent person so I've decided to swallow my pride and come back on here because the sobriety I had using AVRT was more peaceful than I've ever experienced in AA etc... Drank, spoke with people in the fellowship who strongly urged me to go back to meetings and 'work' the program again etc that my 'relapses' proved how powerless I really am and a hopeless alcoholic.
The underlying premises of AA and AVRT are pulling in opposite directions. The first step of AA requires admitting that you are powerless over alcohol, which, if you read the Big Book, really means the desire for alcohol (ie, the Beast). AVRT assumes that powerlessness over desire is actually an illusion, and that the Beast is powerless to act on its own, which is why it needs the AV to entice you to do its bidding. On some level, the logic of AVRT and of AA is actually similar, but with different interpretations, which might help clarify the disconnect.
AA:Any thinking that contradicts the premise of the steps is the voice of your disease (ie, 'my disease' talking).
Example: "My disease is telling me that I am not powerless and that I can stop working the steps."
AVRT:Any thinking that contradicts your Big Plan is your Addictive Voice (ie, your Beast talking).
Example: "My AV is telling me that I am powerless, and that it is just a matter of time until I drink again."
Originally Posted by
Peta The problem is I've been going to meetings every since (Jan) and have even started working with a new sponsor and I just keep drinking. Everytime i'm in meetings you hear a different version of how to get sober, there's no powerful message or strategy like with AVRT and they're all just one drink away from being drunk. It's like now i've experienced AVRT I cant go back and I see how they're all just totally enslaved to their addictive voices.
You'll probably find that this cognitive dissonance will only grow. Some may disagree with me, but I would argue that it is more effective to choose one or the other, either AA or AVRT, than trying to mix and match. As previously stated, the underlying axioms are literally pulling in opposite directions.
Originally Posted by
Peta The final straw for me was when my new sponsor kept trying to convince me that I had been sexually abused in my childhood and that is what is stopping me from getting sober because i need to remember and release the anger from it. I can see that the Beast LOVES all this damaged history crap and loves reasons to keep drinking. Whereas the 'I' the 'real me' actually cringed when she said this and was like GET A GRIP WOMAN you know that you drink because you are addicted to the effect it gives you. That's it.
Your Addictive Voice will readily incorporate additional justifications for drinking into its bag of tricks, fortifying itself along the way. Considering that the Beast is a survival drive, this makes sense. It saves time and effort having to come up with justifications when it can have them provided by others.
Originally Posted by
Peta I wish I had committed entirely to my big plan because now while I see that AVRT is the way to go because when I observe others around me who have stopped drinking permanently without the use of AA or recovery groups I can see they adopted a disconnect technique in order to do it. Drinking is just a 'non issue' for them now. As Jack Trimpey points out, this method of recovery is what people have been doing to rid themselves of addiction for hundreds of years. HOWEVER, because I screwed up it's like I'm fearing that the 'magic' and simplicity of this program is no longer available to me - this is pure AV though isn't it?
Yes, your Beast is going to pull up your drinking as 'proof' that you are incompetent to quit, utterly dooooomed.
AV: "If you could have quit, you would have quit, but you didn't quit, so that proves you can't quit."
This, of course, is not the case at all, but it certainly keeps people trapped in addiction. Read the AVRT materials again, Peta, and stick around until you feel comfortable with it. Feel free to post any questions.