hardy

I really appreciate everyone's support and encouragement. The most common advice is to go to an impatient rehab. Okay. Now how do I do it exactly? My family will not pay for it and if I go, they will of course find out I have been using so I will have no place to live whenever I get out. That makes me sad but still I'm ready to go to rehab. I make too much money to qualify for any county services. Ironically, I do not have more than $10 to my name because I spend all my income on drugs. I have no bank account, no credit cards, nothing of value to sell. I have a limited coverage medical insurance which basically covers $1000 a year. It is not comprehensive health insurance and my work does not offer anything better. So am I missing something? How can I go to rehab? Anyone that knows a way, please educate me. If there is a way I can go to some rehab, I'd check in tomorrow happily.
I am not in denial about how serious my addiction is nor in denial that my depression is so severe, I'm close to suicide. I know I cannot get better on my own and outpatient treatment wouldn't be enough. I need to be watched and monitored 24/7. I know how sick I am right now. I could go into hospital for 72 hours on suicide watch but that isn't going to help me. I currently can promise not to kill myself. I'm not in danger just totally aware I need people to take over for me for a while. I shouldn't be in control of myself because my judgment and thinking is seriously impaired. Sheer willpower and determination won't get me better. I'm not lazy or not ready to change and will work hard and do whatever is asked of me. If I could fix myself I swear I would. I don't enjoy
any part of my life. I hate drugs and myself for not being able to stop on my own.

I guess I'm just not understanding how I get treatment? Its not free and I have no money. I make too much to get any county or state help. Everyone says go to rehab and I say yes please can I go, now somebody tell me how.