Originally Posted by
dollydo 
He doesn't want you to work because it would give you independence, you would have your own money and he would lose some control over you. It has nothing to do with another guy, it is a red herring, he only cares about booze...IMHO he will start drinking again as soon as his legal issue is resolved..he is not in recovery...if it were me, I'd start looking for a job, even if it is part time..your son can go to a public school, make some new friends and expand his horizons.
Well then, I have some time. His legal issue won't be over for about 18 months minimum as he will probably have to have the interlock device for that long. I have been considering going back to school and I have been working with our son on getting his educational testing done and preparing him for upper level schooling. I figure I can stick it out and see how things go for at least the 18 months(barring any major issues). If our marriage improves in the meantime, then more power to us. If it doesn't, then I can continue to re-assess things and take it one day at a time.
I seriously don't believe he is drinking anymore. I am working on trusting him again even though I know I may get hurt again. It will all be part of my lessons learned and maybe I'll thank him one day for making me a stronger person and for teaching me that I can forgive, I can trust, and yet I also will have the strength to take care of myself in the mean time.