(((((Liz)))))
Maybe it is time for you to start taking care of you and step back from this a bit.
Have you tried Alanon? or counseling? Have you read "Codependent No More"? What are you doing for you?
By doing one or more of the above, you will be able to start honestly looking at what you are or are not getting out of this marriage. Please remember when doing this that the situation as it now stands may be as good as it is ever going to get, and you will have to decide if this is what you want for YOUR LIFE.
We are walking with you in spirit, however, you are the one that has to do the work on you.
J M H O
Love and hugs,