Thanks. For putting it into perspective. You're right, just being 13 and female is enough, without having an alcoholic mother adding to the mix. This is all a learning curve for me too, as the mum of 2 boys who didn't seem to suffer outwardly from any teenage angst or emotional heartache! She does recognize that she's too intense, and said she wishes she wasn't, but that's probably something a lot of teenage girls are. Unfortunately, her only positive influence of relationships is the one her dad and I have, which fortunately she is now living within. When she lived with mum, she was subjected to 3 concurrent very dysfunctional relationships, with mums live-in boyfriends, who were physically abusive towards mum, which she witnessed many times, so mums 'role modelling' as far as relationships are concerned hasn't exactly been normal or healthy.
I'm not sure if her counsellor has had any addiction training as she's the school counsellor. I think we will look into more specific counselling for her, and I will check out that book too.
Chocolate has helped today, as well as lots of cuddles.