yes this has truely help in the end i do believe that is why i stay the fear of what will happen to him... i didn't see him on his visit sat and i feel fine about it.. all i got from his mom was were i was and to bring his stuff... there was nothing about are you ok is anything wrong it was nothing but his control even when sober... i no longer what to be in the control part.. i was always trying to please him and forgot about myself... i'm glad to be able to talk to my friends and enjoy life... i've now started packing his stuff and drawn out the papers... if he is truely meant to stay sober he will and not use me as the fall back on to take care of him when he takes a fall.... i do pray he makes it and nothing bad happens to him. but i can't keep living in **LL.