WTBH, I can't believe this has gotten so far, and yet I can. I've shared some of my custody nightmares regarding my XNPD and your ex sounds remarkably similar in intent. After I finally left him, the abuse really began. There was emotional and some physical abuse, and he stalked me for months -- at the time, I don't know what I was thinking, but I never called the cops or got a restraining order. The only record of police intervention is when he called the police on me. I had slapped him across the face, the one time I ever touched him in anger, after he accused me of sleeping with my best friend, and that on the heels of spreading ridiculous gossip about me to friends and family accusing me of drug abuse and sleeping around when nothing could have been further from the truth. Nothing ever came of his complaint -- the police have never taken him seriously, thank god -- but it's what he used against me for years to come. I'm not scared of him anymore, but his lies about me persist. He continues to paint me as a terrible, irresponsible mother and a thorn in *his* side. Later, he applied for and got a job IN MY OFFICE (old job, not current) while trying to sue me for custody. It was the most insidious, abusive thing I could ever imagine him doing. I lived that way for two years, afraid of choosing my own sanity over a guaranteed paycheck.
You, luckily, have an official RECORD of his abusive behavior. You have people that believe you. You have also been wise enough to lawyer up. I don't know what to say to you about losing your job, but I can say that as a former teacher, there is life after teaching. Your skills are extremely marketable. If you can move, DO IT. If there was one thing I could have done for myself and our child, I would go back and do whatever was necessary in the court system to move away. I didn't, and my child pays for it. I also paid for it, by living in fear of whatever antics he had next. Have you ever heard of "narcissistic rage" and "narcissistic injury"?
I don't tell you any of this to scare you, but that I recognize in your stories the fear and confusion that I felt with my ex. My fear is that his intense focus on you is one that won't be abated by a court decision or a restraining order (obviously). He's extremely invested in seeing you suffer, regardless of what that means for his children and his relationship with them. Your girls cannot grow up thinking this is normal behavior -- my son did and he's a classic codependent mess at 12 years old.