I think the notion that nothing is absolutely final except death is a good one to remember. I love my AH and I know he loves me, but I finally realized that nothing I could do was going to "save" anything except myself.
After all is said and done, either we will end up together or we won't. My job is to make sure that the only reason I end up with him--or anyone--is because it is genuinely right and healthy for me. Right now I'm thinking that could take years, and that's okay. Anything is better than getting gradually more and more unhappy and beaten down waiting for someone else's behavior to fix my problems.
Sure, I hope for a miracle, that after all our troubles we'll find a way to share the love again without the BS. But I've stumbled just far enough along this road to realize that hoping for miracles can coexist very comfortably with working hard to be someone whole and healthy enough not to need them.