Thanks to all you wonderful people for your wonderful, supportive comments. I gain such strength, perspective and wisdom from this forum because of all of you. My AS has reached out to me numerous times today, as he has been conducting his job search, asking for my thoughts, suggestions, advice. I think he is still on track, after all. SO HARD not to take a controlling posture, but all of you are so right in what you are saying. I have to step back for my own mental health AND for his. Cheerleader on the sidelines is OK; taking the lead by telling him what I think he should and shouldn't do is not. So tempting to do the latter; it's in my nature! But in reality - he won't really listen to me anyway. He's going to do what he thinks he should do, and that's OK.