I hear you, it's like withdrawal and it is physical.
It's like we can release the pressure a bit if we make contact.
My x called me last night, we talked very briefly.
I am paying for it today, of course he had to get some slight hits in.
It's up and down. Uggg so hard.
Have compassion for yourself and remember, it could just cause you more pain. YOu don't need that right now.:ghug3