How do you learn to live with the possibility of relapse everyday? I find myself so fearful all the time. I feel like I wake up everyday and wonder if today is the day that he's going to throw everything away.
I know that it's out of my control, and I need to worry about myself and my life. But he's a part of my life. I know that just because he relapses, my whole world doesn't have to spin out of control, but how do I deal with the roller coaster of emotions? I get so happy when he's clean and working his 12 steps, and then he'll relapse and I feel so sad for him.
How do you cope day to day with the possibility of relapse always in the back of your mind? I find it to be very draining and stressful at times.
If I just push the thought out of my head, I feel like I live in an unrealistic world. I KNOW the possibility of relapse is always there, so I can't just sit around and pretend it's not.
But if I try to prepare myself for it, I just work myself into such a ball of emotions and constant worry which is unhealthy.