Thank you everyone for your advice. I may have had thoughts in my head that being in a relationship with him is risky, but it's always reassuring and great to hear the thoughts of others. I just don't like being alone, honestly, and being with him is really helping me to not drink right now. He's so supportive of my sobriety and it's so nice to be with someone that understands what it is like to have a drinking problem. He's my best friend and it would be hard to cut ties with him, but I'm just trying to think ahead and possibly avoid a bad situation. And it's just hard because he is such a great guy and he treats me so well and our personalities are perfect for one another, which is something I haven't really been able to find in the past, in both friendships and relationships. I'm scared to let go of what we have right now just for fear of what may happen in the future, but I don't think it is fair of me to offer him an ultimatum either. Me or alcohol. I know he has to quit for himself, not for me, otherwise there is a good chance that he won't be able to stay sober. Maybe I'm just young and therefore naive with relationships, but I guess I'm hanging on to his statement that he would quit if it meant not losing me. But of course, saying something and actually doing it are two completely different things. I just think, if I got sober and did it mainly out of fear of losing what I had rather than truly wanting to quit, maybe he can do the same. But I don't know. Sorry if I'm rambling, I'm just dealing with a battle between my head and heart right now and it makes it hard to make a definite decision
2granddaughters, I do go to AA meetings and have a sponsor, but I'm not as involved as I should be. I only go to meetings about once a week and hardly talk to my sponsor anymore. I know I need to get more involved, but as stupid as it may sound, attending AA honestly scared me because, although I want to be sober, I'm scared to have that commitment and accountability. I'm sure getting more involved will help me overall, it just seemed too overwhelming when I first got involved so I had a falling out with it.