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Old 03-27-2012, 03:02 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
OCHalo
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: OC, Ca
Posts: 13
Pock
Sorry you are going through all this, I feel your pain, I sense your fear, you also seem very desperate for a lot of answers now.
Well... how you are feeling is exactly how I was a few weeks ago, I go to Alanon everyday right now because that's how much it really helps, when people share in alanon you get to hear their experience, strength and hope.
I don't know if you believe in a higher power, but I do and I choose to call my higher power God. I trust my God with all my heart that he will take care of my son, throughout the day I visualize me placing my son in Gods hands.
Its very hard to let go, trust me I know I just kicked out my 19 Year old son because he choose to keep using drugs, and I will not enable him.
I once heard in a meeting that us co-dependents can actually love our addict to death, we do that by trying to control them too much, we try to fix them, etc., when we do too much we get in the way of their own learning and suffering natural consequences. You have to come to the realization that you didn't cause it, you can't control it,you can't change it. It sounds very simple but once you really get a deep understanding of what that means, its a very freeing feeling. Give all your worries and fears and powerlessness to God he controls everything. My best advice is you might need to let him go its his journey, you should probably take a step back, and see what he does with his life in the next several months before you invest too much more in the relationship.
I pray that you will find peace and serenity and learn the gift of letting go
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