Welcome Kat! I'm so glad you've found us.
I'm in a similar situation as you are. My boyfriend is a heroin addict. He was clean for 2 years when I met him, and recently relapsed. I've never been an addict so I don't really have any experience being on his side of things. He led me to believe it was just a slip up and he was getting back on track immediately.
Unfortunately, he wasn't done using yet. After about a month of steady using, he went to detox in the beginning of January, came home to a hero's welcome because he wanted help, and within days was back to using again.
He got really bad towards the end of February. He's in construction and was laid off because of the winter months, so income was very low for him. He ran out of money and was actually asking me to buy him drugs towards the end. I kicked him out of the house and told him the only thing I will help him with was a ride to detox. So I drove him there, he stayed for about a week, and is now living in a sober house about 30 minutes away from home. We're still very much together, we never broke up during any of this. I'm in love with this man and feel like I've been to hell and back again because I wanted to be loyal and wanted to help him and I felt like if I left him, I would have failed in my mission to get him clean. I felt like I had to save his life.
I'm a firm believer that you BOTH have to be in recovery. You have to let him work on himself. I know it's scary to let go, because it feels like you're going to lose your relationship if you stop fighting but he NEEDS this time to find himself. You don't have to break up, but just take a step back and give him space to allow him to pull himself back up again. And take the time you need to pull yourself back up again too. You'll be no help to yourself or anyone else if you don't concentrate on what you need and on your recovery.
Best of luck to you both.
Keep posting!
<3