I was a lot like you. I didn't drink that much usually but sometimes I would. I never remembered anything even after just a few glasses of wine and I gained a lot of weight and felt terrible all the time but never really had a hangover. At first, I was hung up on the word "alcoholic" but now I just ignore it. I also have fatty liver disease. So I've accepted the fact that I can't drink, it's poison to me. mentally and physically. Congratulations on 30 days!!