This thread is what I need to read right now.
I have been out a few times with a recovering A (with a program, 5 years sober) unbeknownst to me till he sprung it on me. The red flags are starting to pop up for me. We had met casually a few times, both feel the attraction, go out for coffee, things like that.
Our first official date was last night and for me, the red flags were waving right in front of me, definitely telling me something. First and foremost, was the way I was feeling, anxiety, nerves, feeling scared since this was my first time delving into it in over a year, since the EXABF and I split up.
Things said, reactions to things I said or did, a lot of texting back and forth all in a short time would have before, had me over the moon, projecting on what could be happening. This time around, I was prepared in the sense that it was like deja vu all over again. Even knowing that, the old codie tendencies popped up as I kept thinking that maybe, just maybe, thing would be different this time around.
I think lillamy sums up best how I am feeling right now when she said this: "What I've found the hardest is that... it's very tempting to dive head-first into a new relationship and lose yourself in it and use those overwhelming infatuation feelings as an excuse to say "Look, I'm not that screwed up, all I needed was LOVE".... and THAT is dangerous...
It is a dangerous place to be for me right now. I have spent the last year trying to put my life back together after four years in a relationship with an alcoholic. I am beginning to enjoy my life, being single for the first time in a very long time. I'm becoming more comfortable with myself and my decisions. I have a program to help me out and friends within the program for support. I'm not sure if I am ready to take that step again, back into relationship roulette, with anyone yet, let alone with a recovering A.
Thanks again everyone, for this thread. It's what I need to see and read.