So, my question is, how do we TRUST ourselves again to make GOOD DECISIONS?
Thank you for posting this. It is at the heart of my codependency. I don't want to keep picking the same person over and over. What I've learned is there's a big difference between love and need. The person that I was will be attracted to a drunk so it was me who has to change.
When going out with someone the first time I learned to keep my mouth shut and listen to the other person talk. Pay attention. If/when a red flag goes up know that if I'm still attracted that it's my disease in charge. It's not about what the other person thinks, it's about what YOU think. Doing this gave me self-confidence. I love doing it.
I certainly won't go out with alcoholics no matter how long they've been sober. I won't go out with anyone who endured alcoholic parents.