Originally Posted by
RECF 
I also wanted to take a minute to respond to Amy, 'cause, girlfriend, you and I know a bit about self-isolation and BOY is it dangerous!
I just wanted to tell you that I had actually tried to date before (around November, online dating) but found the whole situation so nerve-wracking and so anxiety-producing that I locked myself in until just a few weeks ago. I have to make conscious efforts to remain social. My Al-anon meeting is very useful for this. I have a book which puts exercises in place so that my nearly crushing low self-worth is held at bay (Creative Visualization by ****** Gawain). I am also lucky because I have a part-time job teaching English to foreigners and lately I have been using my students as practice, going out with them. Somehow I don't feel as bad when speaking pigeon English all night!
All I'm trying to say is that I have to fight against a desire to ISOLATE and HIDE. Every time I do I feel more alive and more like myself and it gets easier to avoid.
You know what the cure for leprosy is? ...Sunshine!
Thanks for that, it seems that you are helping me, more than I am helping you.
I even "hide" here, even though I am here all the time. I just don't log in.
I also tried the "online dating" thing. I was living with friends at the time, after I left my marriage. Guy was trying to talk me into moving about 200 miles away with him. When I told him that I found a house, and that I was going to buy it, he refused any communications with me. He was p!ssed that I didn't do what he wanted. Just happy that it was online, and not face to face, I might have folded. That's why I don't "trust me".
In a way, I envy you. I get a pension, and good alimony. I don't have to go out to work. But in a way, that is to my detriment. I don't have to go out. I can isolate and hide.
Life is out there. I know that. Just need to go out and "grab it".
When I left my H, I moved in with really good friends. They bought a house in another state, where they eventually did reside in. Their father was ill, so I took care of him for over a year, they would come up on weekends, they always appreciated what I was doing for them, also, painted entire house for them, inside and out, they would never take money from me. They still won't. Got my own house, started isolating again.
Why am I saying this?
In a way I guess to say that there are choices out there, and you always have a choice.
As long as you can "trust" yourself, and know yourself, then go for it !!!!!!!!!
One of these days I will "trust" myself.
But you go girl. Get back out there. You're way ahead of me. But someday, I will be as far along as you are.
Something my mom said to me-----------you only have one life, enjoy it !!!! Don't let fear keep you back, you might be missing the best thing that can happen.