I may feel attracted to him because I feel comfortable with him. And if I feel comfortable with him, is it because I feel not only will he be willing to accept my bad habits but also that he has secret dark habits hiding of his own?!?!?
I know this is a bit of paranoia... but this is what I am dealing with right now.
Paranoia is a funny thing. I have it as well. I think it's wise to heed it but not let it run my life, if that makes sense? Like "trust but verify"?
If I had met someone completely new, like in your situation, I would probably start out trying to pursue a work project together, just to get to know him better. Attraction is not a good way to judge someone's personality.
And honestly? I think everyone comes with baggage. It's just a question about how they are dealing with their baggage and if their baggage is something that stays on the right side of your boundaries. For example, the man I'm involved with has a lot of insecurities related to career/position, because his exwife would give or withhold affection based on how high in the hierarchy he climbed. So when his company downsized and he was laid off, she said she had no respect for him. That's something I can live with, him working through the feeling that he's not worthy if he doesn't have a fancy title.
I think caution is good. I know that I probably wouldn't be dating a guy who was having a couple of beers every Friday even if he wasn't an alcoholic. That's still a big trigger for me. This guy has had maybe... oh, three drinks in the past year.
So we'll be looking at different things. Different triggers.
As for the "I don't want to approach anybody" -- is that fear of rejection, or the feeling that... if you take the first step, and then end up not liking him, it's harder to back out because you were the one who initiated it?