Greetings, I am in the same boat. I had an alcoholic father, in the process of divorcing my wife of 36 years who is alcoholic. I occasionally binge drink and also would go months and years without drinking.
When I separated from my wife I decided I didn't have to watch my drinking any more, it wasn't my problem. What I found myself starting to do was drink every day and some of those days I drank more than others. Nothing like the benders my wife would pull though.
I just reached the point where I thought if I don't quit now I am going to end up having problems in the future. So reading the AVRT threads in this forum I decided to make a big plan and just quit. I will never drink again and I will never change my mind.
I have to admit that so far (2 weeks) that the program works very well and I almost never think about drinking and when I do I recognize those thoughts as what they are and detach from them. In my case I found quitting tobacco to be much more difficult but the fact that I have used this type of process in the past to quit an addictive drug may be a big part of it.
IMO I find quitting too be much easier than sitting around fussing over when and how much is acceptable.
Your friend,