Al-anon meeting, therapy, yoga, music and work tomorrow- preoccupation is survival for me.
Whether you're aware of it or not, you're doing really well, and I hope that you're giving yourself credit. You're doing all the right things.
As far as your feelings for him...well, they're feelings, and that's OK. I personally don't find it troubling if you still care for him, or that you're angry. It's all normal. But what gets us into trouble, what trips us up, is when we feed the anger...because once that happens, not only is it difficult to dial it back, we might do something stupid that we shouldn't do. And that's why it's good that you're doing what you're doing with the yoga, and music...you're changing the channel in your head.
We can love someone and not be with them.
I'm proud of you. Keep up the good work.
ZoSo