Originally Posted by
ODAT63 
We get addicted to the idea..the hope that he will "stay" the nice, loving guy we see in him,however; he is not, It has taking me almost 2 years now after he left, just now I started to see our relationship for what it was, the fantasy is what kept me around for so many years, the hope that when he stopped drinking our lives will be this fairy tale..
This is what I hold on too, the idea that he will become what I need him to be. The issues you have had with your kids is one of my biggest fears. I have been with my A for almost 4 years. We got together when his son (from his first marriage was 3 months old). I have helped raise his kids (daughter and son from first marriage) since then. But If I leave...I leave them too. I can’t take them with me. There 'real' mom is an addict (pills and men) and there father is a fall down drunk. I don’t want them to blame me for leaving. But that is worrying about a future I don’t control.
I hope that your able to help you can help and receive the love you deserve in your life.