Originally Posted by
blackandblue 
Zoso- You're going to be in for one heck of a ride emotionally
In our goodbye last night on the phone I feel like I gave him exactly what he wanted. He was so painfully nice and appeasing. He said he would give me the space I needed and that he understood that this was all his fault. He said he loved me and always have (as I am cringing inside because I believe that everything out of his mouth is a lie). He said he hopes that I want a relationship in the future- blah blah blah. He also said that he thinks I enjoy fighting and that I don't really want a relationship. This comment alone just makes me want to scream but instead I bottled it. How dare he. Guilt, shame, ugh- stop!
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This is exactly what I just went through last Sunday with my ex...who didn't even give me the benefit of a conversation, just text messages because he couldn't "bear to hear my voice." Said this is all his fault, he knows his poor choices led to this, that he's now clean but can't be in a relationship where someone doesn't trust him, etc. Everyone here pointed out to me that it was manipulation and in the end it made me feel guilty and unworthy. I can feel your pain. It's been no contact since Sunday and I'm still sick to my stomach with grief. I hope you feel better. No one deserves to feel this way. This is a toxic relationship and we both deserve to feel better. It's just hard right now.