Hi,
I am hanging in. I have a huge project due for the dept of ed next Tues at my job. I have been working on it since October and this is the down to the wire time to get it all put together. It would have been a stressful time under the best of circumstances and all things considered it's pretty awful timing right now that all of this is happening at the same time as this work project. So, the work piece is adding to my worry.
I saw my T today and not surprisingly he referred me to my doctor (I told him I had already called her) bc my anxiety is through the roof and my history of PTSD is making it pretty much impossible for me to relax enough to rest/sleep etc...
I know I should feel safe at my mom's but I don't. I keep thinking of worst case scenarios and imagining AH breaking in and killing the girls and I and my mom. A few months ago I would not have thought this was realistic and now I don't doubt anything. I feel like I need to get through next Mon and Tues (those are the presentation days to the Dept of Ed to get the school I work at re-accredited for 3 more years) and after that I have told my boss I need to take some time off to figure out a safer living situation (ie: hiding from AH).
So, I am managing right now and that's about all I can do.