Welcome to SR.....I'm glad you found us. You are not alone. There are many parents here who understand.
Personally, I found the answers I was looking for in the rooms of Nar-Anon and Al-Anon. They weren't the answers I THOUGHT I was looking for but the answers were there none the less.
You, your family and your son will be in my prayers. I hope you stick around. Read. Rant. Learn. Take what you need and leave the rest. There is comfort knowing that there are many other parents who are walking this path with you.
gentle hugs
ke