Need some support to stay strong and focused
My boyfriend of 9 years, with 7 months in recovery has once again lost his housing. Having been in a program only a short time myself, but being a full blown codie, I of course felt so bad for him (house is being sold and new owners want to live in it) as it wasnt his fault, this time. I trully believe that he is really trying to work his program and make things right in his life. I wanted to help so badly, I know this is just my "rescue" trait kicking in. I have my own home and a empty bedroom as one of my kids moved out. But as much as I feel for him, my mind is telling me NO! In all the time I have known him he has never had steady employment, he doesnt even have a bank account, he has nothing to his name, which is why most apartment places wont even consider him. his credit score is in the bottom basement. But my heart is still saying DO SOMETHING! I even considered putting my name on his lease so that he could use my good credit to secure housing and continue on his path to recovery... but then I remember if his income goes down.. I become legally responsible to pay the rent or it counts against my credit. I KNOW its not a wise financial decision to put myself on the line for him, even if he is in recovery and trying hard. I KNOW he is in this position because of his own choices.. but fighting against my own inner voices to help, help, fix, fix, rescue, rescue is SOOO hard, especially when you love someone and trying to give them every chance to make it and stuff like this happens.
Its just a huge struggle for me and I actually feel GUILTY for not helping him. He got very upset when I told him no but said he understood why I cant help, but it was that look in his eyes.. made me feel so bad. He is a 43 year old man.. he should be able to secure his own housing at this point his life right? why do I feel so bad for him and crazy desire to make it all better is so hard to overcome.
Hoping someone has good words to keep me strong and steadfast....