Originally Posted by
madisonblake 
Thanks Zoso. Yes, these people are truly sick. I can't say that I'm completely in forgiveness mode and I don't know if I will ever forgive the things that have happened. At least I can't see how I could. My ex is obviously sick. I know this. I just went through your posts and I see how far you've come since January which is only a few months ago. I know that a few months from now in summer I will be feeling like I've made the strides you have as long as I never ever break down and have contact with this sick individual again.
I'll be thinking of you and thank you for helping me.
Thank you for your kind words, and thankful that I've been able to help. As, hopefully, you'll be able to help someone that's gone through something similar to what you have.
I'm not in forgiveness mode either, Madison. There's a difference between showing compassion for someone and forgiving someone. To me, compassion isn't so much about the other person as it is about us. In my ex, what my AXGF did was, frankly, disgusting. But, we're all nicked in some way or another, and when I say my prayers at night, I ask God to protect her and keep her safe. And I believe praying for that has helped heal me. Just because I find her revolting doesn't mean I wish ill will on her. Just the opposite. I just don't want anything to do with her for as long as I live.
For me, recovery was a choice:
I'm going to get through this. And part of that is getting honest with myself in terms of where I went wrong. I was in fantasy land with her. I took her at her word...when there was
no evidence that she was trustworthy. Well, she did me a favor by exposing herself to be as sick as they come.
When you're ready for move forward with your life, you'll have good days and bad days. And that's OK. Just keeping doing the right things. Find a meeting or two that you like to go to. Pay attention to people who post here: CynicalOne, AnvilHead, and others like them are must reads. Just decide
I'm going to be OK. And go out and live your life and have some fun.
PM me whenever you wish.
ZoSo